SG KE TOI Mindset - Stop Living in the Past

Source: Times of India

Just because you made a mistake that you now regret, doesn’t mean that you should beat yourself up because of it for the rest of your life, says Dawn Fields

Just think about this for a moment: How many times have you done something in your past that you weren’t too happy about? It could be anything. Let’s say that you are an addicted person. You may be addicted to drugs, or alcohol or the wrong type of man. Perhaps you are addicted to stressful jobs that bring you little pay. It doesn’t matter what the circumstances may be. Hey, it doesn’t even have to be that harsh.

Perhaps you have tried to start your own business or create something in your life where you could make a living doing something you are passionate about and it failed, so you gave up. It doesn’t really matter. But every time you turn around, you are falling victim to the same thing over and over again. It happens —We Fall Down. But the good thing about it is We Get Up. Just because you fell down doesn’t mean you have to stay down. Get up!

Why are you still sitting there? We all make mistakes. But the great part about it is that God allows us an opportunity to learn from our mistakes and move forward. Just because you fall down today, doesn't mean that tomorrow you must remain down. Ever slipped out in public and actually fell down? Jumped up real quick, didn't you? The next thing you did was looked around and prayed that nobody saw you. Just as quickly as you bounced up from a real fall, you can bounce back from a figurative fall. One thing that i have noticed from speaking with a lot of people is that they understand the We Fall Down part and, generally, when they do fall down, they simply stay there or let their fall stop them from moving forward. They have never learned the ‘But We Get Up’ part.

No matter what the circumstances are in your life that might have tripped you up, no matter what you have been through, no matter what happened in your past, you can always get up and make changes, right now, that will forever banish or make obsolete, the bad things that caused you to fall in the past.

Don’t get me wrong. I hear some very legitimate sounding excuses as to why people feel that their life will forever be the way that it presently may be. I hear things like ‘I was molested when i was young.’ ‘My mother abandoned me when i was two years old and left me because she was out chasing the pipe.’ ‘I have an addiction. How can i possibly get a job that pays more than minimum wage.’ ‘I don’t have an education. How can i ever expect to get a good job?’

We all fall down. But remember, “A Saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up.” Get up. Don’t live in the past! Your past should be a reference point, not a residence. But so many of us continuously live in the past. We went out and bought a welcome mat and promptly placed it at the door of our past. We can’t break away from it. We wear it as some sort of badge of honour because we simply won’t let it go.

Just because you made a mistake or circumstances led you to do something that you now regret, doesn’t mean that for the rest of your life you will have to beat yourself up because of it. Doesn’t matter if you made two mistakes or three. Heck, it doesn’t even matter if you made over a million mistakes in your life. What matters is today, right now. You know the mistakes that you’ve made because you have that mistake as a reference point now and for the rest of your life. But you can change your residence. Move out. Pack your bags and throw away that welcome mat because, right now, you make the decision to change. You have decided that your life is worth fighting for. You realise that you are a child of God and, therefore, worthy of all that is already yours by divine right.

You weren’t born for sorrow. You weren’t born to be a doormat for others to wipe their feet on. You weren’t born to infect your body

You can never get that time back and, therefore, there is nothing you can do about it. But right in front of you is another minute or another hour or another day, week, month, year. Those things haven’t happened yet, so you can start to orchestrate your present so that your future will be more to your liking.

Start by telling yourself, over and over and over and over again, “My past has no bearing on who i am right this second. And, therefore, is not important. I am here to glorify God. I am God’s child and, therefore, worthy of greatness.”

If you take this simple phrase and say it to yourself all day long, over and over again, you will soon start to notice changes in your life. All of a sudden, without even thinking about it, you will start to pack your old baggage from the past and move them to a closet that you will lock and throw away the key. And when you get stronger in your faith, you will find yourself selling the whole house and moving into a completely different neighbourhood--one that is completely different from the hood you used to live in.

You weren’t born to be used up and then disregarded. You weren’t born for any of that. You were born to glorify God and live a happy and abundant life. And if you aren’t living that way, it’s simply because at some point, you fell down. But now is the time to get up and start living the life that you were born to live. And that is a life of purpose. That’s a life of happiness and abundance.

Now, you ask, ‘How do i get out of the past and get up? Well, i would like to say, it’s simple. But that wouldn’t be the truth. There’s nothing simple about it. It is a daily process that you must work on. You have to be committed to making changes in your life.

You have to believe that God has a purpose for you. You must have faith. You have to change your mindset and the things that are presently in your life. In other words, you will have to work on you. You will have to realise that what happened yesterday, is gone.

If you find yourself living in the past or letting past experiences hold you back from bringing new and exciting things into your life, STOP! Tell yourself, “My past has no bearing on who i am right this second. And, therefore, is not important. I am here to glorify God. I am God’s child and, therefore, worthy of greatness.” Say this to yourself, over and over again. Try it. And always remember: A Saint is just a sinner who fell down and got up!

SG KE TOI How would you feel and act right now if you had everything you wanted?

Source: Times of India

Change your mind

Jane Abram

How would you feel and act right now if you had everything you wanted? Well, let’s just pause for a moment and visualise this: Right now, see yourself acting as if you did have everything you wanted. See yourself acting in that way; capture the feeling of completeness and satisfaction that you would have. Luxuriate in that thought! What a wonderful feeling that is, and it is possible!

But let’s first ask ourselves how do we manifest prosperity? It is a fact that prosperity begins in mind. First as an idea, and then it comes into form. As within, so without as the saying goes as well as the more well-known quote, ‘As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.’

Thoughts are things and your thoughts create your reality. This, then, is absolutely true and in exact correlation with having enormous wealth and prosperity in your life. You can only have things that are in harmony with your thoughts and beliefs. That is a Universal Law. The great spiritual truth in regard to our wealth and prosperity is that God is the Source and Substance of your supply and people are merely channels!

Well, it’s true on this human plane that is it people who hire us for our jobs, give us our paychecks, our bonuses and the like, but it is God that is the one true source. When you are aware of this wonderful spiritual truth and incorporate that into your consciousness, you will begin to stop holding onto people, jobs and things so tenaciously and fearfully because they actually represent only one of many, many channels available to us. Stop giving your power away to these people and things and affirm, ‘This or something better.’ Ease up.

When we meditate and pray for more wealth and abundance in our lives, we don’t necessarily know where it’s going to come from and we don’t need to know. That is up to the God which can see a much bigger picture than we could ever see as human beings. By knowing this, we will be able to release an enormous amount of fear, struggle and worry, when we trust and know that God is the source of our supply and that people are merely channels and that there are an abundance of channels available to us. Some we know of and some we are not aware of, but as i mentioned before, we don't need to know where our good is coming from we just need to trust!

For those of you who are now out and about interviewing for a new job,this is of particular importance to you. Who hasn’t gone after a job claiming that it’s my job and i must have it only to be bitterly disappointed when we didn't get it. But somehow, up the road, an even better job came our way.

This has happened to me many times before when i stated out in the business world and then i finally got it! I then began to go to interviews without any anxiousness or a having to have that specific job no matter how much i wanted it, and you know what?

I was much more relaxed, more confident, more articulate, calmer, and presented myself more authentically and more as a professional. I increased my chances of getting the job ten-fold and knew in my soul that if i did not get the job it was because there was something equal or better for me out there. This wonderful knowing; gives us an enormous sense of freedom of calm and peace of mind. Knowing that God is the source and substance of your supply and that people are merely channels is absolutely key to your happiness, success and prosperity.

The next important point to getting more prosperity in your life is to begin affirming that you are prosperous. For those of you who are not familiar with affirmations or why they are important to your success, just think of them as positive statements that we can use to change our mind, belief system, attitudes and actions and therefore get the results we want. A fabulous affirmation for prosperity would be: “By day and by night, i am being prospered in all my ways!”Another great affirmation is, “I am now, in the process of attracting greater abundance, prosperity and success into my life in everything i am undertaking!” Make no mistake, once you start ingraining your mind with this prosperity consciousness everything in your life begins to change. That moment everything begins to improve, because your thoughts improve. Say over and over, “I am Prosperity” and say it with meaning!

So just know right now that your mind is one of your most prized possessions. It has been said that you are the architect of your life. Ask yourself right now what kind of life are you building for yourself ? A magnificent life or a limited life? Everything that has been available to everyone is also available to you. There is a wonderful quote from Balzac which underscores this fact. He said, “None are superior to what you might become!”Start knowing that the potentiality of one is the potentiality of all. If anybody has wealth you can have wealth; if anybody has a beautiful home, you can have a beautiful home. Life is a state of consciousness. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Change your consciousness and change your world.

SG KE TOI Changing traits - Attitudes you can modify

Source: Times of India

Turning the ugly duckling into the proverbial swan is the 'in' thing today. Transformation gurus are on the most wanted list of many wannabes, Nona Walia finds out

TIMES NEWS NETWORK

WELCOME to Self-help Inc. The Makeover Culture has gripped India like never before. At the Factory of Personality Change, you can alter the traits you dislike in yourself! Our obsession with self-improvement has just taken a new twist. There's an awareness in individuals that they can change their "inner traits”. The transformation gurus are making sure the uptight guy learns to cut loose; the quiet, shy girl becomes the life of the party. The mantra is: got a personality flaw, you can fix it! Self-help à la Oprah is sweeping India.

Mind you, we're not talking about those who teach you how to walk straight and talk right. You could choose from made-to-order traits like positivity, kindness, loyalty. You can almost buy a trait you desire off-the-shelf. Now, it becomes easier to free yourself from an introverted temperament, stand up to bosses and have better relationships. Meet Vijay and Nilima Bhat, transformation coaches from Bangalore. This husband-wife duo run Roots & Wings, which gives lessons in personal transformation, "You can reform your personality. If you're rigid, you can learn to be flexible. First, you need to understand your p e r s o n a l i t y type, ask yourself, 'Who am I?' 'What do I want to be?' Awareness is the key to change," says Vijay, who was fighting cancer a few years ago, wanted to acquire a personality that could fight cancer better.

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Attitudes you can modify

• Anger and violence: Control your negative emotions.
• Ego: Be aware of your actions.
• Jealousy: Forgive. Be calm.
• Low Self-esteem: Do things that will help improve your self-worth.
• Anxiety: Trust yourself.
• Diffidence: Set new targets each day.
• Courage: You should do things which help you speak out and stand up to situations.

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"To heal myself, I deconstructed and reconstructed myself." From Indore to Nashik, Jaipur to Jaisalmer, Chennai to Bangalore — people are going to these personality gurus to develop skills that will help them thrive and survive. Obviously, the 4,500 self-help titles on Amazon.com haven't quenched the thirst for self-improvement. Want to quick-fix a trait, just call your personality pundit! Here's how it works: A super-successful director of Convergys has a problem dealing with his wife and child at home. He's anxious about personal relationships, almost violent. He goes to a personality pundit, who makes him walk on hot coals at 1100 degrees. It was a walk that changed his life. He lost his negativity and anxiety. An archer can't ever shut his mind. He tries the ‘Pink Elephant' technique: don't fight unwelcome thoughts. Welcome them, then sort them. Meet Limba Ram, famous archer, winner of Arjuna

Award and Asian Championship. He had bouts of self-doubt. When he couldn't untangle his fears, he went to a personality coach, Anuj Khare. Says Limba Ram, "I lost my drive. I did this Matrix exercise — spoon bending, it helped me fight my anxiety and empowered me."

The 'Me Generation' therapists believe in the cult of positive psychology. They're helping people put passion back into their lives. We asked Ambika Mehra, 47, just divorced, why she felt the need to change herself, "The turning point was when my son's school called, I realised that my behaviour was affecting my child's behaviour."

In his New Delhi institute, Anuj Khare can help you acquire a made-to-order personality. "I've never seen more people wanting to change themselves. We have classes like set-me-free which help you change your negative traits."

It seems, as offices become new spaces of Darwinian struggle, only those survive who can win friends and influence their superiors. That's the pitch of The Personality School in Mumbai, being run by Gautam Garry Guptaa, "It's all about enhancing your positive traits. I'm surprised how everyone is evaluating their attitude and want to appear positive."

Psychology Today reports that personality changes the way doctors talk about the biological set point for weight as well. Motivational guru Shiv Khera agrees, "We can change our personality, as it is a composite of many things — conduct, communication, attitude, body language. It's a process, not an event."

The first transformative experience is to change the way you'll react. With new behaviours come new experiences.

But can personality be changed forever, or will you go back to being the person you were? "Some individuals transform for life," says Pria Warrick, who runs a finishing school in Delhi. "You can cultivate a certain trait and you won't forget it so easily as it'll bring new experiences," adds Warrick.

Well, it seems, sculpting one's personality isn't impossible. It isn't about being ‘someone else', but just a more positive and enhanced individual. All you need to do is to choose from the menu of ‘hot, spicy' traits you want in yourself, and ask a transformational coach to work on ‘you'!

SG KE BT Building Long-Term Relationships

By: Brian Tracy

If you could take everything we know about communications, put it all in a large pot, boil it and distill it down into its critical essence, it is about the importance of relationships in successful selling. Building and maintaining long-term selling relationships is the key ...

http://ganeshsrinivasan.terapad.com/index.cfm?fa=contentNews.newsDetails&newsID=51372&from=list&directoryId=18339

SG KE TOI The Secret Of Nurturing Beautiful Relationships

Source - Times of India

Nov 13, 2007

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THE SPEAKING TREE

The Secret Of Nurturing Beautiful Relationships

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Satsang: Sadhguru

What is the basis of a relationship? Why do we need relationships?

Whatever the nature of the relationship, the fundamental aspect is, you have a need to be fulfilled. The needs may be physical, psychological, emotional, social, financial or political. If those needs and expectations are not fulfilled, relationships will go bad.

These needs have arisen because of a certain sense of incompleteness. People are forming relationships to experience a certain sense of completeness within. Life is a complete entity by itself. So why is it feeling incomplete? And, why is it trying to fulfil itself by making a partnership with another piece of life? Because we have not explored life in its full depth and dimension. Besides, there is a complex process of relationships as such. There are too many expectations.

Especially in the man-woman relationship, the expectations are so unrealistic that even if you marry a god or a goddess, they will fail you. But if you understand what the source of these expectations is, you could form a beautiful partnership.

People’s expectations are changing as their perception and experience of life is changing, but they are not changing at the same pace. Relationships become a source of great conflict. More conflict is happening within homes than anywhere else.

If you try the management approach there is no way you can gauge it 100 per cent. If you try to mind-read the other person and constantly try to fulfil expectations, you will become a wreck.

Fundamentally, you are seeking a relationship because you want to be happy, joyful. Or you are trying to use the other as a source of your happiness. If you are forming relationships, trying to squeeze happiness out of somebody and the person is trying to squeeze happiness out of you, this is going to be so painful.

Shifting your life from the pursuit of happiness to an expression of joyfulness is what is needed for relationships to really work.

Right now, your body, mind, emotions and on a deeper level, your very energies are made in such a way that you still need relationships. If your body goes in search of a relationship, we call this sexuality. If your mind goes in search of relationships, we call this companionship. If your emotion goes in search of relationships, we call this love. If your energies go in search of relationships, we call this yoga. All these efforts are just to become one with something else, because somehow being who you are right now is not enough.

Suppose you are very joyful or loving and your life energies feel very exuberant, you feel a certain sense of extension. What does it mean? First, what is it that you call as ‘myself ’? What is the basis for you to know ‘this is me and this is not me’? Right now, whatever is within, the boundaries of your sensation, you experience as ‘myself ’.

Yoga is about this for the word itself means ‘union’. Whatever is the longing behind any relationship, you will never really know that oneness. But if you experience all this life around you as a part of yourself, the way you exist here will be very different. Relationships will only become a way of looking towards the others’ needs, not about your own because you have no need of your own anymore.

Once there are no compulsions within you and everything that you do becomes conscious, relationships will become a true blessing, no more a longing, no more a struggle.